Very tired, head in a not particularly fantastic place, everything’s whirling around me and I’m really needing some days off (which isn’t possible just now). But even worse, I’m out of both Nerds and Habas Fritas. Thankfully those two things I can fix!
Chocoholicious
A menu for cocoa bean worshippers.
Today’s hike was a 9 miler with breakfast lard at the beginning and dim sum and chocolate lard at the end.
Weekend things
The weekend turned out as a bit of a mixture of awesome hotdog-ish stuff. If I were to pitch it as a film idea to a producer, it’d be something like ‘Ratatouille crossed with Confessions of a Shopaholic crossed with Meet The Parents crossed with Towering Inferno (of Jenga)’. Hint of Superman II too, because I saw that nice Mr Zod on the bus. Would you fund a movie based upon that premise? I should bloody hope so.
Today’s giggle – Charlie Brooker on the whole Walkers crisp insanity. For the record, Chilli and Chocolate doesn’t work and whomever had a lightbulb moment with that little gem deserves forcefeeding with their own insipid creation until their stomach bursts, their bowels collapse and their eyeballs pop out of their miserable, misshapen skull. Really didn’t like that flavour much.
I haz a new iPod Nano, and it is bright red 
Weekend Menu
Friday night starter:
Much too much red wine, various types
Drunken Ginsters pasty or two for walk home
Saturday:
Teacakes. (2 down, 8 left..)
Biscuits. Mmm biscuits.
GYM!
Chicken pastini from the farm market
Stunning chicken + egg fried rice with chillis
Winter crumble with custard
Sunday:
Possibly biscuits
Eggs Benedict with foaming Hollandaise on white sourdough. Win win win!
Roasted stuffed peppers
Half’n'half popcorn mixed with M+Ms
Monday:
One Alpen bar. Coffee.
Something small for lunch
GYM!
The Masterchef Drinking Game
Not that I’m one to advocate alcohol-driven amusement, but – as stolen from Digital Spy – this is surely bound to induce giggle;
“Rule One – Down a double whiskey whenever “ingredients expert” Gregg Wallace threatens to stick his head in a pudding, lick the plate clean or just grins manically after scoffing a few mouthfuls of something chocolaty.
Rule Two – Drink your shot of choice each time John Torode displays his unusual eating method, where he wolfs down forkfuls of food and munches furiously, as if he’s never eaten a meal before.
Rule Three – Down a pint of lager when Gregg shouts at the camera: “Cooking doesn’t get tougher than this!”
Rule Four - Down a second pint if John follows that up by shouting: “This competition is going to change somebody’s life….forever!”
Rule Five – Have a glass of red wine whenever the voiceover women tells us that a contestant can “pack in flavours” but “needs to work on their presentation”.
Rule Six – Follow it with another glass of red wine if the next contestant “shows great technique”, but needs to “pack in flavours”.
Rule Seven – Have some Tequila slammers each time Gregg and John start bickering about who should go through and the camera quickly flashes between them both putting on their best angry faces.
Rule Eight – Crack into some rum each time John angrily tells a contestant: “There’s just too much going on with that plate!”
Rule Nine – Have another swig of rum each time you spot Gregg or John standing over a hopeful like mad stalkers or conspicuously spying on them from behind some pots and pans.
Rule Ten – Knock back another glass of wine and yawn if a contestant reveals: “My dream is to run my own restaurant.”
Rule Eleven – Drink a double gin if a contestant smiles optimistically and says they are making a chocolate fondant.
Rule Twelve - Finish off the gin when Greg and John end up pushing the fondant around the plate tutting at another failure.”
Have you ever witnessed John Torode eat on TV? It’s like watching a garbage truck devour the contents of a school pig bin, replete with hideous chomping and masticating noises. And there’s always something dribbling out of the corner of his mouth afterwards. *vom*
Roast was -fantastic- this evening…
Last night’s dinner; Chilli Chicken Fried Rice
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Ingredients:
First, cook the rice, drain and leave to cool. Ideally give it some time in the fridge – the cooler the rice, the less it sticks at the end.
Next, heat a frying pan, add a tablespoon of the chilli-infused olive oil. Ensure the chicken is chopped into small cubes (1 – 2 cm-sq), and sear over the heat, trying to get as much of the chicken coated with the oil. Make sure the chicken is fully cooked.
Finally, beat the eggs in a bowl, then heat a wok and add a tablespoon of olive oil. Mix the eggs into the oil and stir well – they’ll begin to fry, break them up into small chunks in the wok. Add the onion, stir for a little while before adding another tablespoon of oil, then the (cooled) rice and chopped chillis. Stir well and cook / stir for ten minutes.
Serves 5000. You may wish to provide something minty afterwards…
Christmas Bonbonbonbons
Serafinowicz Christmas special. Time for Christmas Pizza.
Are you stocked up on nutty nut-nuts?
Yule and the gang
Feeling even more Christmassy. Prep is done and there’s just a long drive to the coast between me and some nice time away. I plan to watch some telly, watch presents being unwrapped, remix some Radiohead in GarageBand, eat so much that Saturday’s work-out will be two hours long..best be careful not to spend the first days of 2009 in a sling or brace…
There’s even a couple of very low key and local New Year options should anything appeal on the night. Or I may just will away the last few hours of 2008 in my dreams, and wake up to the fresh orbit of the sun with a spring in my step and no hangover. Decisions decisions.
I have peanut butter Lindt chocolate balls (food you horndogs) amongst other things. You don’t. Nyaaahhhhh.
New tricks for old dogs
This Christmas is a bit different from the last one. Economic recovery may be months or years off but there are little green shoots in my own life when I really didn’t expect them at all. Seriously good.
Stuff to be considered;
-The banana tart tatin with rum and raisin ice cream on Le Caprice’s dessert menu. Do it. Do it YESTERDAY.
-Lots of yuletide fizzy stuff.
-Christmas shopping for nieces is great fun.
-Monkey; Journey To The West – fantastic, would urge anyone to see it. If you’re in London you’ve only got until Jan 4th.
-There is no better breakfast than Eggs Benedict and a coffee. This being my second Eggs Benedict within a 15 hour period, I need to go work it off now. Rarr.